


And I

by cousmiclatte



Category: NU'EST
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, don't expect too much lol, jbaek, minbaek
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2019-11-27 02:01:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18188330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cousmiclatte/pseuds/cousmiclatte
Summary: He wished to meet Dongho earlier.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> what did i just write

It was the third time he saw the guy in the same café with him. Always claiming the same spot near the window, ordering the same drink and just doing nothing. It wasn’t like he was a creep to notice everything but he took the spot just not too far, actually the seat next to him to easily notice what he did. Also, there was something about this guy that drew in his attention. He was handsome, it wasn’t debatable actually. Probably everyone would think the same. But it wasn’t that. He didn’t even know what that was. This guy haven’t ever smiled, he thought. Though it would be nice to see his smile.

“Here your order, Sir.”

Jonghyun snapped out of his thought as the waiter came to bring his order.

“Thank you.” He said as he accepted his cup only to find that it wasn’t his name written on it.

_Dongho._

And it was ice americano. Jonghyun didn’t know exactly how many people who ordered ice americano today but he was sure of one person who ordered it.

“Uh- sorry, I think you mistook my order with the guy’s over there.”

Jonghyun motioned his hand to the direction of the guy seated in the next table. The waiter checked his order notes and let out a small ‘oh!’ before taking back the ice americano onto his tray and gave Jonghyun another cup.

“This is yours. Jonghyun- _ssi_ , right?” The waiter made sure for the last time which Jonghyun responded with a nod before he moved to the next table.

Jonghyun watched closely when the waiter stood right beside the guy and gave him his ice americano. The guy nodded slightly and said ‘thank you’ to him.

So he was right. And now Jonghyun even knew his name. Dongho.

 

* * *

 

 

That day was a free day for Dongho so he just decided to go to the café. Again. He took his coat and walked towards the bus stop. He didn’t know why he chose that café even though there were some near his place. Maybe he just wanted to go somewhere far. Maybe he needed a new air.

He always ordered the same thing. And sat at the same spot. It was comfortable for him. He always liked it if he did something familiar. He didn’t like to do different things, it was kind of strange or maybe a little bit scary for him. He’d rather do something he always did over and over again. He didn’t get tired actually as he said it was comfortable for him.

“Your order, Sir. Dongho- _ssi_?”

He was just looking outside the window when the waiter’s voice surprised him. He received his ice americano before saying thank you to the waiter.

Dongho reached his phone and turned on the screen. There were some notifications from his social media, but he ignored it. He opened his personal chat and found some chats left unread. Dongho heaved a sigh and scrolled through the chat and stopped at one name.

Aron.

The guy had contacted him for many times which Dongho didn’t respond. It wasn’t like he was purposely ignoring him, he was just not ready to tell everything to his friend.

But finally Dongho had to reply to his chat that asking about his whereabouts. He snapped a picture of his ice americano and sent it to Aron.

The reply came so soon.

 

[Aron]

_Whom are you with? Who’s that?_

 

[Dongho]

_Who_

 

[Aron]

_That guy with a cap_

 

Dongho had to check his photo again and just realized he accidentally snapped the guy who sat not far in front of him. He looked so focused on his laptop.

 

[Dongho]

_Just a stranger_

 

[Aron]

_Are you alone?_

 

[Dongho]

_Yeah_

 

[Aron]

_I’ll come to your place later, ‘kay? Or maybe tomorrow. I’ll text you._

 

[Dongho]

_Alright_

 

Dongho put down his phone and exhaled slowly, relieved that he could at least ensure his friend that he was okay. So they wouldn’t be too worried about him.

He finally dragged his untouched ice americano closer and started taking a sip. His eyes carefully looking at the guy in front of him. Why didn’t he realize this guy earlier? The guy seemed busy with whatever he was doing on his laptop. Probably some projects. Everyone was busy. And it made them doesn’t realize their surroundings, Dongho thought. Just like _him_.

Just when Dongho was about to divert his eyes back to the window, the guy raised his head and their eyes met. Dongho blinked once, twice. He didn’t know if his eyes playing tricks on him but he kind of saw the guy slightly smiled at him. He wasn’t sure so he turned his gaze back to see outside of the window, watching people passed by the road.

 

* * *

 

 

It was weekend when Jonghyun went to the café and it was more crowded than usual. In fact, there were only some spots left. And some couple already took the spot where he always sat. Jonghyun needed to sit near the window though, because he had to plug in his laptop charger and the seats near the window were the ones that provided electric sockets.

And it was the moment Jonghyun found the guy. Sitting at the same spot. Sometimes Jonghyun wondering just how early he came to always claim the same spot. Jonghyun hesitated, whether he was gonna approach him to sit together or just find another café. But seconds later he found himself take a step towards the guy.

After he reached the table where the guy sat, Jonghyun suddenly thought. What if he was waiting for someone? Jonghyun knew that the guy was always alone but what if today he actually was waiting for someone?

Jonghyun was anxious. Until the guy turned his head and looked up to meet Jonghyun’s eyes. Jonghyun was startled and unconsciously taking a step back. The guy was just staring at him, looking confused. And Jonghyun noticed his beautiful eyes. His brown eyes as if hypnotizing him to fall silent on his spot, unmoving.

Now that he was looking at him in a closer distance than usual, Jonghyun found him even more attractive and it made his heart beating twice faster for no reason. Jonghyun cleared his throat seeing the guy made no sign to say something.

“C- Can I sit here?” he asked warily.

The guy raised his brows, not quite expecting the question.

“I mean…” Jonghyun scratched the back of his head, a sign when he was nervous. “I need to plug in my charger and the other tables are full.”

“Oh, sure.” The guy replied shortly which made Jonghyun exhaled in relief secretly.

He moved to sit in front of the guy after saying thank you to him.

After ordering his drink, Jonghyun took out his laptop from his bag and started turning it on. It needed some time until the laptop was ready.

The silence created an awkward feeling in the air.

Jonghyun couldn’t stop moving his leg and he bit his lower lip anxiously. He stole some glances to the guy in front of him but the guy seemed unbothered. Jonghyun let out a sigh.

His laptop was finally ready so Jonghyun better got his project done quickly. He was focusing on the screen in front of him, starting to neglect everything around him.

Jonghyun was a freelancer on some game company. He worked to make illustrations and animations for the game. He was a gamer himself so he really enjoyed what he was doing now.

“What are you working on?”

Jonghyun’s hands movement stopped in the middle. He didn’t mishear something, right? The guy was talking to him, right?

“Pardon?”

“Are you working on something?”

Yes, he definitely talked to _him_.

Jonghyun nodded quickly. “Yes, I have a project right now. Uhm- do you want to see?”

“Can I?”

“Of course!”

Jonghyun was always excited about showing his works to others. It was like he could brag about his skills.

Jonghyun turned the laptop so the guy could also see the screen.

“Wow, it looks so good! You made this?”

Jonghyun couldn’t help to smile sheepishly and nodded.

“Yes. I work for a game company.”

“This is really great, you know? How did you even make this?”

“Thank you.” Jonghyun was really happy whenever someone complimented his works. Because these days there weren’t many people who would appreciate his hard work. And it made him feel unmotivated.

“By the way, I’m Jonghyun.”

Jonghyun stretched out his arm. _Crap, why would I even introduce myself?_

But luckily the guy didn’t find it weird and welcomed his hand for a handshake.

“I’m Dongho. Kang Dongho.”

And he smiled. Dongho smiled.

For the first time Jonghyun finally saw his smile and it was blinding. His eyes formed into crescent moon and it was the most beautiful thing ever. Jonghyun froze in his seat.

“So… so your name is really Dongho…” he mumbled subconsciously.

“Sorry?” Dongho made a slight frown, tilting his head.

“Ah, nothing! Nice to meet you, Dongho- _ssi_.”

It was the time when Jonghyun didn’t notice, had fallen for someone for the first time in his life.

 


	2. Chapter 2

This was bad. This was really bad. Now Jonghyun had another reason to keep coming to the café. To see Dongho. Now that they already knew each other’s names, it was easier for him to excuse himself to sit at the same table with him.

Some days Dongho was there, but some days he wasn’t. And Jonghyun had to mock how dumb he was to assume that Dongho didn’t have any other things to do other than coming to the café. Unlike him. It wasn’t like Jonghyun was jobless or whatsoever. But he originally often went to this café to do his works. Sometimes he did it at home, a shared apartment actually. But there was Minki, his roommate. He couldn’t concentrate much so he decided to work on his projects outside. And this café was by far the most convenient place. There were many tables, and it wasn’t crowded unless it was weekend –so he could focus on his work, slow music, and most importantly the food and drink were affordable for his broke ass.

Or maybe, the most important for him right now was he could meet Dongho.

 

Ah, it was Dongho again.

 

Jonghyun didn’t know why he was so excited about seeing Dongho. He was never like this before. Sure he ever had a crush on some people before but it was never like this. Not to the extent that he wished and prayed to see them again and again.

Today was his lucky day. He saw that broad back sitting near the window and he could immediately tell who that person was. Jonghyun adjusted his backpack and held back his smile before taking a step to approach him.

“Hey!”

Jonghyun tapped Dongho’s shoulder to surprise him. And the latter turned his head quickly upon hearing Jonghyun’s cheery voice. He immediately flashed a smile to see the man in front of him, with his usual cap and backpack on one of his shoulders.

“Hey, I thought you wouldn’t come today.” Dongho said.

Jonghyun who just took a seat in front of him raised his eyebrows in surprise, not expecting Dongho to… wait for him? Or something like that, he guessed?

“You’re waiting for me?”

The words came out even before he could process and soon he regretted it.

Dongho let out an awkward chuckle and shook his head.

“No, it’s just- you seem like always here whenever I came to this place so, yeah.”

Jonghyun nodded repeatedly, hiding his embarrassment. “Oh, yeah sure. I always come here to do my works, because I can’t do it at home.”

“Why?” Dongho asked in curiosity.

“I live with my friend in an apartment for years. But I still can’t stand his noisy act.” Jonghyun paused to chuckle, remembering Minki. “And I’m the type who needs a quiet environment to do my works.”

This time Dongho nodded, slowly and his eyes became hazy as if his mind traveled to somewhere else.

“But you’re now sitting with me, though?”

“Yes.”

“I thought you wanted to do your things alone.”

Jonghyun quickly caught what he meant and shook his head. “No, it’s not that. I mean, I’m okay to work with other people around me as long as they don’t disturb me.”

It was kind of amusing to see Jonghyun explained frantically to him, Dongho thought. It was kind of… cute.

“So, you think I’m not a bother?” Dongho asked.

“Of course not. Besides, I somehow look lonely to sit alone. Don’t you think so?”

“Not really. At least you have something to focus on, like your laptop. I think I looked even lonelier than you.”

“Hmm, but it’s not anymore?”

Dongho understood what he said and he smiled in agreement. Making Jonghyun to return the smile.

Dongho probably had no idea. That every time he showed that smile of his, there was a part inside Jonghyun’s chest that throbbed. Sending him a fluttering feeling down to his stomach.

 

* * *

 

Aron parked his car near Dongho’s apartment, taking out his phone to message Dongho that he’s arrived before going in.

Dongho was just making himself breakfast when Aron’s chat vibrated his phone. He didn’t expect Aron to come this early. It wasn’t long until he heard a bell ring on his door.

“Hey.” Dongho greeted him after he opened the door and let Aron stepped in.

“Wow, it felt so long since the last time I came here, huh?”

Aron looked around the room. Nothing much changed but the place seemed a lot more spacious now. Obviously because it used to be occupied by two people and now only one person lived here.

“Breakfast?” Dongho asked, offering him a breakfast.

Aron shrugged. “Hm, sure. I haven’t had breakfast anyway.”

He made a way to throw himself on the couch while Dongho was preparing one more toast for him.

“So you’re free today?” Aron asked.

“Mhm. I’m not as busy because it’s an exam week. Honestly, I’m not that busy also even on daily basis.”

Aron chuckled. “You’re right.”

“How about you?”

Dongho approached him with a glass of orange juice, handing it to Aron which the latter took it and mumbled ‘thanks’ before taking a sip.

“I actually have to do some things later but I decided to drop by. You know, I just wanted to see you. To make sure if you’re okay.”

Dongho sat beside Aron before flashing a small smile. A rather bitter one.

“I’m okay, really. You don’t have to worry about me. It was hard but I’m fine.”

Actually it was really difficult for him. To live alone after years being together with someone. Of course he felt something was missing. A half of him. And he tried to cope up with it.

Sometimes he would wake up in the morning and wondering why no one woke him up only to realize the side of his bed now empty. Or when he made breakfast for two servings and confused himself why on earth he brought two plates when he was the only one eating. Sometimes he still wasn’t used to it.

“Where does he live now?” Aron asked, rather carefully this time.

“I don’t know.” Dongho shrugged. “Probably somewhere near his workplace. It will save more hours for him, though. Rather than here.”

“You’re not in contact with him anymore, are you?”

“Nope. And it’s better this way. At least for now.” Dongho answered rather doubtful.

“Hey, you know. I have a friend-” Aron started and before he could finish it, Dongho cut him off.

“No. Stop setting me up in your stupid blind date. I’m not seeing anybody.”

Aron sulked and drank his juice. “I was just helping.”

Dongho couldn’t tell him that he met someone at the café. Someone that maybe, maybe could distract him from his problems for a while.

 

* * *

 

 

“Wow, you came early. Are you done with your work?” Minki asked with his frowns upon seeing Jonghyun returned early with a big smile plastered on his face.

“Not really.” Jonghyun replied, still with his stupid smile as he went to his room.

Minki followed behind him. _Something isn’t right_.

“Something must’ve happened, right?” Minki started interrogating him.

Jonghyun shook his head playfully. “No~thing!”

“Ha. Something really happened. Tell me now.”

Minki folded his arms, demanding explanation from his friend.

Jonghyun just stared at him, preventing his lips to smile even wider but in the end he gave up. He couldn’t take it anymore. He grabbed Minki’s shoulders and shook him until his friend moving forth and back.

“I met someone!” he exclaimed.

“Who?”

Jonghyun stopped his movement and smiled so wide.

“Oh my God, stop being so creepy!” Minki hissed.

“Alright, alright. I met someone at the café. And he… he is so… I don’t know how to describe him! Minki, I think I like him.”

Minki blinked his eyes. “Well, congrats? It’s your first time liking on someone, right?”

“Seriously liking on someone… yes I think so.” Jonghyun nodded his head.

“Minki, you have to help me, okay?” He grabbed Minki’s shoulders again, his eyes were full of hope.

And Minki just rolled his eyes and snorted. “As if you can do it without me.”

 

* * *

 


	3. Chapter 3

The works piling on his desk and a cup of coffee kept him up that night. He said to himself that he wouldn’t go home until the last piece of work he had to finish. It was half duty, and half distraction.

“Minhyun-ah.” Seongwoo peeked from the door. “You’re not going home?”

The said man turned his chair and gave him a tired smile.

“Just one more page.” He ensured.

“Okay, then. Don’t push yourself too hard.”

Minhyun waved his hand, giving him a sign that he was fine. Seongwoo made sure that Minhyun was really fine before leaving his room to go home first.

Minhyun turned back to face his desk, he heaved a sigh. His days were the hardest recently. Work demands from his workplace, his own insecurities, and he just broke up with his boyfriend.

It was only temporary thing actually. They needed their time alone. But Minhyun wasn’t sure if his boyfriend still wanted them to go back like before. As much as optimistic he was, Minhyun still couldn’t reassure himself if his boyfriend wanted him back. And it gave him anxiety.

_Dongho. What is he doing now?_

Minhyun straightened his back on his seat and trying to focus back on his work. There was no time to slack off.

 

* * *

 

Minhyun walked back from his workplace. It was near so he could just go on foot. He was walking at the sidewalk and his hand was busy turning on his phone.

Nothing.

He expected at least one notification but nothing. His chest felt heavy with disappointment once again.

Minhyun arrived at the not so big apartment, he let himself in. And he saw someone was still up, sitting on the couch and reading something.

“Seongwoo?” he called.

Seongwoo lifted his head and nodded to Minhyun.

“You haven’t slept?” Minhyun asked casually as he took off his shoes and put it on the rack.

“I’m waiting for you. I’m afraid you’ll not come home.” He teased.

Minhyun let out a dry chuckle.

“And what if I’m not coming home?” He took a place beside Seongwoo, resting his back on the couch.

“Good, then. I can have my bed for my own.” Seongwoo replied with his serious face and it finally made Minhyun laugh.

“You were the one who forbid me to sleep on the couch, remember?” Minhyun retaliated.

“I know.” Seongwoo grinned. “You looked so pathetic so I was just being kind to let you sleep on my bed.”

“Shut up.”

Seongwoo laughed. He then asked after a moment of silence.

“So, are things get better?”

Minhyun shook his head, unconsciously letting out a deep sigh.

“You didn’t even try, right?” Seongwoo shot him.

Actually what Seongwoo said was right, Minhyun answered to himself. “I don’t know, Seongwoo. I don’t know what I should do for now.”

“Are you still contacting him at least?”

Minhyun shook his head slowly. “No…”

“And why?” The answer made him wonder. It was not like they broke up completely, so he thought that it was unnecessary to just cut off the tie like that.

“I can’t.” Minhyun paused. “I just can’t. Maybe I’m afraid for another disappointment.”

“So do you not want to get back to him?”

“I do. I want.” Minhyun quickly replied. He pressed his palms on his eyes, trying to clear his mind. “But-”

“But?” Seongwoo repeated.

“I don’t know.”

Seongwoo took off his glasses and put it on top of his book he was reading. He turned to face Minhyun and grabbed his wrists down.

“Talk to him, Minhyun.” His friend now being serious.

Minhyun stared at him with his fazed eyes. “I-”

“Talk to him, okay? If things won’t go as what you please, at least you have tried.”

Running away from problems was never Minhyun’s thing. He would always try to fix it one by one and overcome it in the end of the day. Even the hardest one. But this one, he found it so hard to find ways to settle. He was too afraid of the possible outcomes. He was scared it was something he couldn’t handle.

“Okay…” Minhyun finally gave in. “I’ll try.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Don’t you think asking him to watch movie together is too straightforward?” Jonghyun asked for the umpteenth time.

“Jonghyun-ah, listen to me.” Minki held Jonghyun’s shoulders, he tried to convince his friend. Giving him a lecture about life like anyone cared. “Life is too short to not being straightforward, okay? Do you want to lose this chance?”

The guy quickly shook his head. He didn’t want to waste time, but he also didn’t want to rush and made Dongho run away.

“Trust me for once.” Minki looked at him with a serious face and Jonghyun finally nodded.

So here he was, at the café with Dongho and fidgeting on his seat. His eyes fixed on the laptop screen but his mind was travelling somewhere else.

“Jonghyun-ah?” Dongho called and it almost made him jump from his seat. “Are you okay? Do you need help?”

“No, I- I just- I think I need some rest, that’s all.” Jonghyun stammered on his words and moved to close his laptop.

“I think so. You always so focused on your works, of course you need a rest. Here.”

Dongho pushed a cup of coffee that Jonghyun ordered closer to him.

“Thanks.” Jonghyun accepted it and finally took a sip. The liquid was flowing down his throat and it made him relax.

“When is the due?” Dongho asked him.

“The end of this month, actually.”

“You still have like two weeks then?”

“Yeah, I don’t need to rush. But I just want to finish it as soon as possible.”

Dongho nodded, understanding him. Sometimes he also wanted to finish his job quickly so that he could have more of free time. No pressure.

“So- I am wondering… what do you do?” Jonghyun slowly asked.

“Oh, right. I haven’t told you about myself.” Dongho chuckled at himself, feeling embarrassed for not telling him more about his life. It wasn’t like he intended to tell Jonghyun about everything but it felt kind of impolite considering the latter already talked so much about himself.

“I’m actually a music teacher at elementary school.” Dongho said.

Jonghyun widened his eyes in astonishment. Because he didn’t expect someone like Dongho to be a teacher, moreover teaching children.

“Really?”

“You’re not expecting it, right?” Dongho laughed seeing Jonghyun’s surprise face. “I get that a lot.”

Jonghyun didn’t know but this new information made him more interested to Dongho. This guy had a lot of charms.

“So, do you play instruments or?”

“Yeah, I play the piano. And I teach musical notation.”

A sudden realization hit Jonghyun. “Wait, you can also sing then?”

Dongho hummed and shrugged nonchalantly. “A little bit.”

Well, Jonghyun now just froze on his seat with his gaping mouth picturing an image of Dongho sat in front of a piano while singing to soft melodies. He wanted to see it so bad.

“Wow.” The stunned guy formed an ‘o’ shape with his mouth.

Dongho let out a laughter upon Jonghyun’s response. His laugh was contagious it made Jonghyun laugh too.

“But really, Dongho you are so amazing.” Jonghyun said so sincerely.

“It’s nothing. In the end of the day I’m just a mere teacher.”

But Jonghyun disagreed. He already threw away his plan to ask him watching movie together. He just wanted to see Dongho at his school, teaching children. Thus he asked.

“So- uh- what days do you usually teach?”

“It’s exam week so I don’t have any schedule for this week. But probably I will give some tutor to some kids on weekend.”

“Can- Can I come?” Jonghyun hesitantly begged.

Dongho found his request odd. “You? For what?”

“I just want to see…” _you._ “the children. I mean I want to see how a music class is going.”

Jonghyun cursed himself for his non sense. But he really wanted to see Dongho.

Dongho judged him with his frowns, before finally flashing a smile. “Okay, then. I will give you the school address later.”

And by that they finally exchanged numbers and Jonghyun felt like the luckiest guy ever.

 

* * *

 

 

Dongho returned at his place and letting himself rest on the couch. Recalling his recent days meeting Jonghyun and his chest suddenly felt light. He processed to reach out his phone from his pocket and checked his notification only to find that his expectation resulted to nothing.

Maybe, maybe this was a sign for him to move on. Dongho never thought the time would come to him, move on was never on his mind. But this time he had to do it. For himself.

He later sent the school address to Jonghyun and got the reply immediately.

 

[Jonghyun]

_Thanks! I’ll come :)_

 

Dongho stared at his screen, contemplating before he decided he wanted to chat a little bit more with him.

 

[Dongho]

_(Sent a photo)_

 

[Jonghyun]

_What? Omg. When was this?_

 

[Dongho]

_I accidentally snapped you the other day._

_I was focusing on my drink tho but you got into the frame haha._

 

There was no reply for minutes. But then his screen lit up.

_Jonghyun is calling…_

Dongho raised his brows and stared at his blinking screen before finally swiping his thumb across the screen.

“Hey?”

“ _…Hey_.”

“What’s up?”

He could hear a chuckle from the other side and it gave him a shiver.

“ _Nothing. I just- want to call you_.”

_Oh._

“ _Am I bothering you?_ ”

Dongho shook his head and realized that Jonghyun couldn’t see him.

“No, of course not.”

Silence.

“Are you home now?”

“ _Yeah, I am. You_?”

“I just arrived.”

“ _Your place is quite far from the café, huh?_ ”

“Mhm, I guess.”

“ _Then why do you come there?_ ”

“I don’t know. I was trying to find some new place, maybe? And…”

Dongho paused.

“It’s great because I could meet you.”

Another silence. And then a laughter. But Dongho was sure it wasn’t Jonghyun.

“Who’s that?”

“ _Ah, sorry! It’s my roommate. Told you he is so noisy._ ”

“ _Hi, Dongho! Jonghyun is so re-_ ”

“ _Minki, shut up. Get out from my room._ ”

Dongho couldn’t hold back his smile listening to the friends’ banter. He heard some movements and another laughter before finally the sound of a door slamming.

“ _Sorry about that_.” Jonghyun apologized.

“It’s fine. Your friend seems like a fun person I want to meet him.”

“ _No, you don’t. Believe me_.”

Dongho chuckled.

“ _So, see you on weekend?_ ”

“Yeah, I will text you again later for the time.”

“ _Alright. Uhm- have a good rest, Dongho._ ”

“You too. Don’t push yourself too hard on your works.”

“ _Sure! Bye._ ”

“Bye.”

Dongho waited for the other to hang up first. He brought his phone close to his chest and shut his eyes. He felt his gaping hole on his heart slowly but surely occupied.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so tbh im not really confident with my writings but i still do it bcs it's fun to write. also, you guys gave nice comments im so happi you don't have any idea. thank you for still bearing with this story! xx


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edited this while fighting back sleepiness so i kinda gave up lol. anyways hope you enjoy it xx

Giving some lecture on weekend wasn’t on his official schedule actually but Dongho was willing to do it if some of his students asked because he loved his job just like that. Also the kids were excited and he thought that was cute. He couldn’t pursue his dream job so the least he could do was sharing what he got and encouraging other people to do what they like.

Dongho sent a text to Jonghyun, asking him to come at nine. Then he proceeded to walk out of his apartment and to the bus stop. He sat there waiting, folding his arms when his phone vibrated.

 

[Jonghyun]

_I’m ready! I’m going now :D_

 

Something about that guy made him smile. He was just full of positive vibes and Dongho liked the fact. Being around him made himself happy and he needed that energy. All this time he’s been so tired about his own life and he let the negativity consumed him when he was actually not the type of person who allowed such kind of energy.

The bus came and he quickly stood up and stepped in. The trip wasn’t lasted long when he finally arrived at the school. It was quiet since it was weekend and they had no class going on. Dongho passed a line of closed class rooms to reach the room at the end of the way. He noticed some small heads peeking outside the room, conversing between each other and Dongho cracked a smile.

“Hey.” Dongho called them, both hands deep into his coat pocket.

One of them turned his head followed by the others and surprised to see Dongho.

“Dongho _seonsaengnim_!!”

The kids rose up from their seat and burst into Dongho’s arms. Dongho had to bend his knees to match their height and smiling to their excited face.

“You guys are early, huh?” He extended his arm to pat each of their heads.

“We don’t want to be late!” They exclaimed and Dongho chuckled at their excitement.

“Should we go in now?”

Dongho stood up and holding their hands, ready to go into the music room but one of them didn’t move, instead he was looking over Dongho’s shoulder.

“Hello.”

Dongho recognized the voice and he quickly turned his head only to find Jonghyun was there, standing and waving his hand to the kids. He looked different since he didn’t wear his cap and Dongho could see his face fully this time. The man wore flannel over his white shirt underneath and denim jacket, also a camera dangling on his neck.

_Why would he bring that?_ Dongho raised his eyebrows.

“Who is that?”

The kid’s voice snapped him out from his thought. Jonghyun smiled down to the curious kid.

Dongho quickly introduced him to his students who were now looking at him with their wide eyes. “This is Jonghyun, he is my friend. And today he will accompany us. Is that okay?”

One of the girl nodded and ran to Jonghyun. “Do you want to learn music with us?”

Jonghyun let out an awkward laugh. “Well- I guess? Do you want to teach me?”

“Dongho _seonsaengnim_ will teach you!” the girl grabbed Jonghyun’s hand and smiled widely.

“We’ll see about that.” Dongho teased and tell the kids to go into the music room.

“Just don’t mind me, okay? I will just sit at the back and watch the kids.” Jonghyun whispered to Dongho before he closed the door and Dongho let out a chuckle hearing his request.

“Okay, okay. And what’s the camera for?”

He pointed at the thing in Jonghyun’s hand.

“I want to take some pictures.” Jonghyun explained, before quickly added. “If that’s okay with you, of course.”

“I’ll be glad if you just take the pictures of the kids and not me.”

Dongho nodded to him before moving to the desk at the front of the class, leaving Jonghyun in fluster. He _did_ want to take some pictures of Dongho, though.

The class went smooth. Although the kids were noisy and the sound of the piano made the room full, nevertheless Jonghyun enjoyed it. Faces of excited children captured in his camera roll and his head. Also Dongho.

Jonghyun couldn’t prevent his smile from forming even though he tried so hard not to make it obvious. Seeing Dongho sat there in front of his students, diligently and patiently teaching them one by one. His eyes were radiating warm light and Jonghyun was sure not only the kids fell for him but also himself.

_Click._

Jonghyun captured the moment. He lowered his camera and found Dongho looking directly at him. The guy sent a warning glare at him and shook his head in a forewarn manner. But Jonghyun just gave him a not-so-sorry expression and shrugged.

During the class going, the girl that came to Jonghyun earlier approached him who was sitting at the very back of the class. Jonghyun welcomed her with a small smile, lowering his body expecting what she was going to say.

“Hello!” The girl excused herself to sit in front of Jonghyun.

“Hello. What’s your name?” Jonghyun asked the girl. Smile never left his face.

“Jieun! Na Jieun.”

“Jieun-ah. Is the class fun?”

Jieun nodded. She played with her hands and moved her dangling feet.

“Dongho _seonsaengnim_ is a kind teacher, right?”

“Mhm. I like him!” Jieun stated, before she continued to ask. “So, are you his friend?”

“Hmm, yeah I’m his friend.” Jonghyun gave her a confident nod.

“But I never saw you before?” Jieun tilted her head cutely. “I only knew _seonsaengnim_ ’s friend that sometimes picked him up after class. The tall one.”

Jonghyun looked at her in confusion but decided to respond it with a smile. He only befriended Dongho for few days and of course he still didn’t have any idea about his friends.

“Oh, he has a lot of friends!” Jonghyun finally replied.

“But he never came again recently. To pick up _seonsaengnim_ I mean.”

Jieun’s expression changed as she was talking about it.

Probably Dongho’s close friend since he always picked him up after class, Jonghyun thought. Or maybe…

“But I like you because you joined us in the class!” Jieun looked up at Jonghyun and flashed her bright smile.

Jonghyun ruffled her hair. “I’m happy to be here too, Jieun-ah. The class is so much fun.”

“Wait until you hear Dongho _seonsaengnim_ ’s voice.” Jieun whispered to him.

Jonghyun was more than surprised to hear the information. “He will sing?”

“Not much. But I know he has a nice voice.”

Jieun went back to her friends, leaving Jonghyun puzzled. If he got to hear Dongho’s voice today, then his day would be completed.

 

* * *

 

 

After sending his students off, Dongho walked back into the room to gather his things. He saw Jonghyun already moved from his seat and walked towards the seat at the front, putting himself there.

“How was it?” Dongho asked as he picked up some papers and sorted them out.

“It was fine.” Jonghyun replied with a smile.

“Sorry if I abandoned you back there.”

“Nah, watching the class going was already fun for me. Also, I managed to take some pictures.”

He waved the camera in his hand. Dongho smiled in relief. At least the guy didn’t feel out of place and he hoped he was actually enjoying himself.

Dongho stepped closer to him. “Let me see.”

Jonghyun took off the camera’s strap from his neck and passed on the camera to him. Dongho took it carefully and started scrolling through the pictures. His eyes softened upon seeing his students’ face. They were all cute. He clicked the next picture and apparently it was his picture.

“You took picture of me.” Dongho sounded not too upset about that.

“Sorry, I had to.” Jonghyun responded with a grin.

Dongho went back to check the rest of the pictures. He realized that the pictures turned out great, surprisingly. He assumed Jonghyun was into photography to deliver such good pictures. The angle and everything. It almost looked like those on art exhibition.

“Dongho.” Jonghyun called.

The guy just hummed as a response. His eyes were still busy scanning the pictures in the camera.

“Can you play a song for me?”

Now his attention was on Jonghyun. He thought he heard wrong.

“Huh?”

“With the piano. Can you play a song?” Jonghyun asked, his eyes were full of expectation. “And also sing to it.”

The request was honestly too much for him. He never really sang. Like a whole song. He never sang to a song properly throughout his life as a music teacher, to be honest. He didn’t recall when the last time he sang.

Dongho shook his head. “Ah, sorry I can’t Jonghyun-ah.”

Hearing the rejection made Jonghyun wonder. A slight frown formed on his face. “Why? Jieun said you has a nice voice.”

“I can play the piano for you. But just don’t ask me to sing.”

The guy walked to the piano but Jonghyun was fast to hold him back.

“Dongho-ya, just this once. For me. Please?”

Dongho just got to know about Jonghyun like a week ago and they weren’t that close. So why should he fulfill his plea?

He didn’t know why he ended complying his friend’s request. He sighed and nodded slightly before sitting himself in front of the piano. Jonghyun looked like he just won a lottery and watched him closely like a curious kid, waiting for him to sing.

Dongho pressed some keys to try the notes and then he cleared his throat. He looked nervous for some reason. But looking at Jonghyun with his face full of expectations made him think he had to do this.

He played the intro and soon beautiful voice from the piano filled the room. Jonghyun slowly took his camera and brought it close to his eyes. Dongho’s voice then slowly but surely could be heard. It was soft, so soft that Jonghyun thought it came from the back of his mind. He seemed so hesitant to let out his voice but it was enough for Jonghyun. He only managed to snap a picture because the next thing he did was focusing on Dongho and the piano, he was so mesmerized by his beautiful voice and he could feel he was falling deeper.

Dongho didn’t finish the song. But Jonghyun didn’t mind. He gave a standing applause to him, making Dongho’s face blushed. Oh God, he wanted to hug him so bad.

“Dongho, it was beautiful.” Jonghyun’s voice filled with sincerity.

“I haven’t been singing for a long time but- thank you.”

Dongho looked at him with a glint in his eyes. He was happy for the fact that he was here with Jonghyun. No, he was happy that Jonghyun was with _him_.

How come that guy made him to feel these kind of feelings?

“Dongho, I-”

Jonghyun voiced out, he looked hesitant to continue his words. He wanted to say to Dongho how much he liked him. He was already falling so deep for this guy. It felt like he was going to lose him if he didn’t keep him close.

“Yeah?” Dongho responded to him warily, waiting for what the guy was going to say.

“Actually, nevermind.” A small rather bitter smile formed on his lips as he exhaled shortly. “Do you want to grab some coffee?”

“Oh.” Dongho could only give such response because he actually expected something without him realizing. “Sure.”

Dongho made sure he didn’t leave anything behind before locking the room and walking out together with Jonghyun. They walked at the corridor when Dongho’s phone suddenly vibrated in his pocket. He stopped to fish it out and one name lit up ever so clearly on the screen.

 

Hwang Minhyun.

 

Dongho felt his heart dropped to his knees. His brain was malfunctioning and he froze at his spot, staring blankly at his screen.

 

* * *

 


	5. Chapter 5

“What’s wrong?” Jonghyun asked with a frown on his face. He looked at Dongho who suddenly stopped and holding his phone tight through his fingers.

The latter didn’t answer him and kept staring at his phone instead. His heart pounding so hard against his chest. It was just a text. But it gave so much effect to him.

“Dongho? Is there something wrong?” Jonghyun repeated his question. More careful this time. His gaze finally fell to Dongho’s phone and when he just caught a glimpse of someone’s name there, Dongho quickly put back his phone into his pocket.

“Nothing. Come on.” Dongho told Jonghyun as he continued to walk, leaving the other guy confused but didn’t have any choice except following him behind.

They found a small coffee shop not too far from the school and decided to come in. The place was full of teenagers who went on their date, Jonghyun and Dongho didn’t seem to fit in but they could care less.

After ordering, both of them sat on one of the remaining tables around the corner. Waiting for their orders, Jonghyun wanted to start a conversation but the guy in front of him clearly seemed bothered by something. The guy believed it was because the text he got earlier.

“Dongho?” He called the disturbed man carefully.

Dongho quickly turned his head to Jonghyun, stopping his leg from moving in anxiety. “Yeah?”

“What’s wrong?” He asked for the hundreds time, he was really worried about him.

“Nothing, Jonghyun. I’m fine.” Dongho tried to give a slight smile to reassure him which of course Jonghyun didn’t buy. He wanted to ask more but knowing that he was in no place to invade the other guy’s privacy so he refrained himself from doing so.

If Dongho could be real, he felt so uneasy right now. Minhyun suddenly texted him after weeks and his feelings which he buried so deep now burst out without control. He missed Minhyun. He wanted to know how he was doing. He wanted to know why he texted him.

But he couldn’t just read the text from him now. Not in front of Jonghyun. Because Dongho knew he would break down. And Jonghyun didn’t have to witness it.

 

* * *

 

 

Minhyun checked his phone for the fifth time. It’s been thirty minutes since he sent the text but no reply came. Bad thoughts started invading his mind. Did Dongho already let him go? Did he give up on them?

 

[Minhyun]

_Dongho-ya, are you home?_

_We need to talk._

 

The tall guy let out a heavy sigh looking at his screen. His thumbs hovering over the screen, hesitated. Before he finally found the courage to send him another text and snatched his car key and coat to leave the apartment.

 

[Minhyun]

_I’m going to your place._

 

He drove his car while checking his phone once at a time. He didn’t expect for a reply at this rate but he couldn’t help feeling anxious. It’s been weeks since they were apart and they didn’t even exchange texts or calls. Minhyun practically didn’t know how Dongho was doing. He didn’t update his social media either. Actually he could ask Aron, but he was way too coward to have to explain what happened.

He just wanted to fix this mess. Because he needed Dongho. What was the point of this if in the end he was going to lose him?

Minhyun arrived at Dongho’s apartment. He pressed the doorbell and waited. There was no reply so he pressed the button once again. Minhyun was wondering if Dongho was out, so he tried to input numbers to the door’s passcode but the machine beeped indicating a wrong passcode.

Dongho changed his passcode.

Feeling frustrated, he finally gave up and chose to wait outside until Dongho came back. He sat down on the floor in front of the door for a good ten minutes when he saw a figure coming closer from the distance. Minhyun straightened his back, realizing it was the person he wanted to meet so badly. Then he abruptly stood up and wiped the dust on his pants.

When they were just two meters apart, Dongho looked at him in surprised. Almost couldn’t believe his eyes.

“Min- hyun?” He muttered his name.

God, Minhyun missed him so much. He wanted to pull him into his arms right there and then.

“Why are you here?”

The next question caught him off guard. Minhyun blinked his eyes trying to find his words.

“Did you get my text?” He asked instead.

It was his turn to make up some lies. “Oh, sorry my phone died.” He avoided Minhyun’s eyes.

The taller wasn’t sure about that but he just let it pass. He wanted to ask where he came from but it was not his business, the bitter truth he had to swallow.

“Can we talk?” Minhyun begged after a moment he found his courage.

Dongho spared him one last look before passing by him to input the passcode and let the door open. He stepped inside and Minhyun followed suit. The shorter took off his shoes, putting on the rack before removing his coat and walked into the room. All the while Minhyun watched him closely before mimicking him and let himself went into the room.

The place was pretty much the same since he left. Except it was more spacious and Dongho reorganized some stuffs. It was clean also to which Minhyun was quite surprised, knowing Dongho.

“Want some tea?” Dongho broke the silence. Minhyun couldn’t process a proper respond and gave him a quick nod spontaneously.

His eyes were following Dongho to the kitchen. The guy took some tea bags and started making the drink. Somehow Minhyun felt out of place, it was weird because he used to live under the same roof, right at this place with Dongho for years. But now he just felt foreign and he hated the feeling.

He found his steps approaching Dongho who was busying himself in the kitchen. Dongho was putting a tea bag into a cup and pouring hot water. The taller reached behind him, slowly grabbed his hand and moved it to put down the boiler. The shorter flinched at the sudden contact before he turned to look at the guy behind him with a frown on his face.

“Come here.”

Minhyun dragged Dongho gently away from the table to face him. And when he did, Minhyun couldn’t hold himself to pull him into his embrace. He wrapped his arms around his wide shoulders and pulled him close to his chest. He could feel Dongho’s body tensed and Minhyun didn’t like a bit. It wasn’t like they were a total strangers to each other that Dongho would react that way. Minhyun was still his boyfriend in the end of the day despite their decision to give some time to each other.

But Dongho really wasn’t expecting the hug. He forgot when the last time Minhyun hugged him, even before their break. He was feeling a little bit surprised, but Minhyun’s hug was always warm. In fact, he missed this.

Dongho let himself being pulled so tight to his chest he could hear his heartbeat. He wasn’t really sure if he was listening to Minhyun’s heartbeat or his own. He rested his forehead on Minhyun’s shoulder, inhaling the scent of his body that he recognized million times. It smelled like… home.

“I miss you.” Minhyun whispered ever so softly to Dongho’s ear. The shorter couldn’t trust himself to voice a single word he felt like crying.

Just then, the phone in Dongho’s pocket buzzed. He swiftly leaned back and his hand reached into his pocket only to get restrained by Minhyun. The latter took over his phone and rejected the call without even looking at the screen before turning it off and put it away on the table.

“Minhyun-ah.” Dongho interrupted.

But Minhyun kept him in place. “I thought you said your phone died?”

“Minhyun-” Dongho freed himself from him and looked up to meet Minhyun’s fox-like eyes. “Why are you here?”

The said guy lowered his gaze, hands reaching for Dongho’s and grasped them. He heaved a sigh.

“I’m sorry.”

The words came in one breath.

“Dongho, I want to fix this. I know I was at fault. But I did it for your sake.”

Dongho fell silent. He let the guy talk.

“I couldn’t give you much attention and my time. I was too busy on my work I ended up ignoring you. But-”

“But?” Dongho cut off. His voice trembled trying to suppress an anger. “You said you did it for my sake? You almost got no time for me, and for yourself. You drown yourself on your work and you didn’t even listen to me. Was I the only one in the relationship? Was I the one trying?”

“Dongho-”

“You said you got a lot of stress and I made it worse? Just because I wanted to help. For God’s sake, I was your boyfriend, Minhyun-ah!”

Dongho was losing his patience. He kept his grudge for months because he didn’t want to ruin everything. But now he couldn’t keep it anymore. They were already on the edge preparing to fall apart. So even if this was his last straw, Dongho just wanted to let it out without regret.

“I didn’t mean to belittle you, Dongho. I’ve got so much things going on and I didn’t want you to be burdened by that so I told you to stay away.”

Minhyun grabbed his shoulders, squeezing it. His face hardened. “I just wanted to make you happy.”

“Really?” Dongho’s voice now sounded light, almost mocking. “By telling Seongwoo?”

Minhyun’s tight grasp loosened and he sighed, looking tired by the topic Dongho brought up. He stared at Dongho’s eyes, unamused.

“Are you still on that?”

Dongho let out a cynical snort. “Oh, come on Minhyun. You know your reasons are stupid. You didn’t want to burden me by your problems but you told Seongwoo instead about everything? Ha, guess he was your boyfriend apparently.”

“He is my co-worker! We are friends, Dongho you know that. Stop being bitter about it.” Minhyun threw his hands in the air out of frustration.

“That’s the point. He is your _co-worker_.” Dongho emphasized.

“Dongho, I talked it out with him because he knew how exactly my work problems. I didn’t tell you because you wouldn’t understand.” Minhyun shook his head, trying to explain.

“See?” Dongho chuckled bitterly, eyes fixated on the floor at his kitchen. “You just didn’t want to share with me. Then what’s the point of our relationship?”

Minhyun rubbed his face tiredly and focusing his gaze on the guy in front of him again.

It was good amount of silence before Minhyun voiced out.

 

 

 

“I was planning to marry _you_ , Dongho.”

 

 

 

The words were unexpected and Dongho almost thought he was imagining it.

_Marry?_

He should be happy to hear that, someone whom he spent his many years with was going to marry him. But now he was just… lost.

“What-” Dongho couldn’t comprehend the simple sentence he shook his head in confusion.

“That’s why I let myself overworked. I tried to earn more because I wanted to propose to you as soon as possible. That was my only wish, but I somehow ended up hurting you. I didn’t mean that to happen, Dongho-ya. I wanted to be with you, and these past weeks got me stressed out because you were not with me. I thought the separation would make us think clearly but it didn’t work, at least on me.”

Minhyun reached out his arm to caress Dongho’s cheek. The latter couldn’t help but leaned into the touch. Both Minhyun’s hands now touching his cheeks, thumbs caressing ever so softly on his skin.

 

“I need you, Dongho.”

 

Those were the words Dongho had been wanting to hear. To assure him. That Minhyun still needed him in the end of the day. That he was worthy.

Hesitantly Dongho lifted his arms to touch Minhyun’s hands.

“Do you- need me?” His voice came out like a whisper, almost unheard.

And Minhyun didn’t have to think twice to bring the shorter’s head into his chest, hugging him close. He placed soft kisses on his temple repeatedly, to the side of his face, to his nose, and to his lips.

“I miss you.” Minhyun whispered in between his kisses. “So much.”

“I miss you too.” Dongho replied back with the same whisper.

Minhyun then took Dongho’s lips with his, kissing him deeper. He bit on his lower lip making Dongho yelp, and parted his mouth. The taller put one of his hand on the back of Dongho’s neck, pulled him closer as he slipped in his tongue to his hot cavern, tasting him. Dongho gasped for air as he felt the wet muscle exploring every spot in his mouth. His fingers clutched onto Minhyun’s back shirt, kissing him back. He sucked on the taller’s upper lip, biting softly in the process. He could hear Minhyun moaned his name to his wet lips and went back to kiss him even deeper.

They both ended up on Dongho’s bed that night.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> minbaek time !!
> 
>  
> 
> oot // Blessing is so good orz i want to cry


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i apologize in advance that this chapter is poorly written ;-;

Jonghyun couldn’t keep his mind focus on his project since his call got rejected and he couldn’t contact Dongho afterwards. He was so worried if there was something happen to him. Since he received that text after the class, Dongho was acting so weird. And he couldn’t erase that name which appeared on Dongho’s phone screen from his mind.

Minhyun.

_Who’s Minhyun?_

He knew it wasn’t his business but now that he realized he liked Dongho and he wanted him, it was starting to bother him. He wanted to know everything about Dongho. He wanted to know about his friends, his favorite thing, favorite food, favorite song. Everything.

He liked Dongho but he knew nothing about him. How was he supposed to confess then?

But Dongho already promised to accompany him tomorrow. He hoped this would be a good opportunity to him. He had to confess.

 

* * *

 

 

Two bodies full of sweat sprawled on the bed. The clock on the table beside the bed displayed it was two in the morning. The room was pitch black and there was only a sound of soft snore. Dongho turned his head to look at Minhyun who slept behind him, his arms wrapped around his waist keeping him close. It was like the old time.

Dongho put away one arm across his waist carefully, trying to get up only to get dragged back.

“Where are you going?” Minhyun mumbled. His voice was raspy. The guy still closed his eyes.

“I want to get my phone.” Dongho replied.

“No. Stay.”

Minhyun turned Dongho’s body to face him and hugged him tighter. Dongho finally gave in and snaked his arms on Minhyun’s lower body. He stared at his boyfriend’s sleeping face. Minhyun always looked peaceful when he slept. His eyelashes, his perfect nose, his sharp jaw, and his full lips. He was just perfect, beyond perfect for him.

As if he knew being watched, Minhyun’s eyelashes fluttered as he slowly opened his eyes, staring down at Dongho who looked at him. He smiled ever so slightly.

“Why?” He asked.

Dongho just shook his head. Minhyun leaned down to peck his forehead and closed his eyes again.

“Minhyun-ah.”

Minhyun just hummed.

“Where do you stay all this time?”

“Hm?” Minhyun tightened his arms. “Seongwoo’s place.”

Dongho frowned to hear the name. “You sleep with him?”

“No- I mean, yeah we share the same bed but that’s it.”

Dongho wasn’t really satisfied about that.

“Don’t worry about it, Dongho.  I’ll leave his place in a few days, okay?”

Silence.

“Are you going to work again today?” Dongho asked. And Minhyun answered it with a hum. “But it’s Sunday, though.”

Minhyun finally opened his eyes again. He stared at Dongho softly.

“Dongho, I want to quickly propose you. I have to do this. Just- wait for a little bit more, hm?”

Dongho sighed as he closed his eyes. “Whatever.”

The answer made Minhyun feel a slight of guilt, he chuckled lowly and nuzzled Dongho’s cheek.

“I love you.”

 

* * *

 

 

Dongho wasn’t expecting amusement park of all places that Jonghyun picked as his choice to picture hunting. But at the same time he didn’t expect places like beach or mountain area so this place was quite understandable. He couldn’t recall the last time he went to amusement park. Maybe two years prior or so, with Minhyun when they still had the time to go on a date. He missed those times.

“Dongho.” Jonghyun’s calling snapped him out of his thought. “Let’s go.”

Dongho approached Jonghyun who was few steps ahead of him before they walked together into the park. Jonghyun was all smiley as usual but there was something off that Dongho couldn’t pinpoint.

“So, where are you going to start?” Dongho asked.

Jonghyun put his attention to Dongho before answering, “Why don’t we go on some ride and then maybe I can take some pictures too?”

Dongho frowned upon his reply. “Isn’t it harder to take pictures while we’re moving?”

“Uh-” Jonghyun couldn’t tell the other man about his intention to make him as one of his picture objects. As Dongho didn’t really like people took pictures of him. “I’m a professional, Dongho-ya. Don’t underestimate me like this.”

It made Dongho chuckle and Jonghyun just wanted to keep it so bad and replay it countless times in his head. He inhaled and repeated within himself so many times that he was going to confess today, thus he would be able to listen to Dongho’s laughter every day.

“Let’s ride viking then!” Dongho challenged.

“You okay with that?” Jonghyun’s reply was not so sure, as if he was the one who was afraid.

“Yeah. Are you scared?”

“No! Let’s go, then.”

Jonghyun finally dragged Dongho to the huge viking which would swing really high it made you want to throw up. After giving the tickets to the man, they took a seat just at the very back of the ship. The ride was starting and Jonghyun immediately regretted it.

Dongho laughed so hard that the entire park could hear him. But then Jonghyun could even care less as he was trying to control his own heartbeat everytime the ship went back so high in the air before swinging in full force to the opposite direction. And that made Dongho laugh harder.

Jonghyun felt like his soul was yanked out of his body by invisible force when the ride ended. His face was so pale and his limbs were trembling.

“Jonghyun, are you okay?” Dongho still laughed at his friend’s current state. He didn’t even touch his camera to take some pictures.

“I need to sit down.”

Dongho had to help the wobbled man and searched for a bench to sit.

“Give me your camera.” Dongho hold out his hand to retrieve the camera from Jonghyun. After he got it in his hands, he brought it to his eyes adjusting the focus and pushed the shutter.

Click. Click. Click.

“Hey!” Jonghyun whined as he caught Dongho took numerous pictures of him instead. “I’m the photographer here.”

The other man ignored him and showed his work instead.

“Look. I’m pretty good, right?”

Jonghyun’s soulless face was securely kept in the pictures. It was funny and pathetic at the same time but Dongho really enjoyed it a little bit too much, so Jonghyun just let it pass.

“Since you seem like about to pass out, what if we ride something less scary?”

Jonghyun quickly nodded at the idea.

It was weekend so the place was so crowded. They had to get into a long queue to ride merry-go-round. Dongho suggested it.

A little bit embarrassing for two grown ass men to get on the ride with mostly children on it. Jonghyun didn’t get to pick which one he would like to get on because some kids claimed it first, and Dongho just stood in between noisy children who shouted excitedly choosing their rides, looking confused.

Jonghyun grabbed his wrist and dragged him to the nearest seat left for exactly two people. They settled before looking at each other and bursting out laugh.

Click.

Jonghyun didn’t miss his chance to snap a picture of Dongho’s blissful laughter, his eyes that turned into crescent moons. When he put down his camera, he soon caught Dongho’s frowns but decided not to give him more attention as he directed his focus on other things to capture.

Dongho was too cute his heart couldn’t handle.

 

They got on some more rides before the sun setting so quickly and Jonghyun took Dongho on the final ride that day. The ferris wheel.

They sat facing each other. The sky was already dark by the time and city lights started dominating the surroundings. It was such a beautiful view looking from above as the ride started moving.

Dongho stared far into the distance, lost in his own thoughts while the man in front of him blatantly watching him. There weren’t many chances to look at him closely like this, admiring his beautiful features and keeping them dearly in his head for later he would rewind the memories. He wanted the time to stop and just let him appreciate what he had by then. Because actually he didn’t know if he could have it again later. He was not sure.

“Dongho.”

The man subconsciously reply with a hum before finally turning his head to the caller. Jonghyun suddenly felt nervous again.

“I- I need to say something to you.” Jonghyun gulped down his own saliva, looking at his hands as he felt chills washed over his body. Maybe the wind.

“What is it?” Dongho asked carefully. He held his breath without him knowing, somehow he could predict what the other man was going to say. And it made him nervous as well.

“I want to know more about you.” The words came out in one breath. “We’ve known each other for some time now, I want to know more things… about you.”

“Oh.” Dongho realized the intention but also he didn’t want to assume things. They were practically friends so it was understandable if Jonghyun wanted to know him more as he was totally okay to do the same thing.

“You already know what I do for a living and maybe some other trivial things. What do you want to know?”

“I don’t know where you live.” Jonghyun replied quickly.

Dongho chuckled upon his answer and said, “You can walk me home later.”

Jonghyun flashed a smile. “Okay, deal.”

Some more silence.

“Dongho, can I ask something?”

“Sure.” Dongho nodded, expecting his question.

“What happened yesterday?” Jonghyun threw the question cautiously. He didn’t mean to invade his privacy, he was just genuinely curious about what happened. Or if Dongho was okay.

Dongho didn’t expect the question, nor he knew what to answer. He licked his lips, trying to find some proper words to respond. He couldn’t say about Minhyun and he didn’t know why. He didn’t want to mention him in front of Jonghyun.

“Nothing just- I’m sorry if I made you worried or anything.” Dongho apologized first before continuing. “I just had some problem with a friend.”

“Is it clear now?”

Dongho looked up at Jonghyun and his eyes were filled with actual worries. It moved something in him, so he decided to speak.

“Jonghyun-ah, say you have someone that you love and you’ve been together for so long. But one of them keep making a mistake and it becomes a problem in your relationship.”

Jonghyun already didn’t like where this conversation going.

“What are you gonna do? Keep the relationship or just cut it off?” Dongho asked.

“Well.” Jonghyun inhaled some air before answering, trying to see it as a common case so he could judge objectively. “You gotta ask yourself. Whether you still love them, or you’re just so used living with them that you think you can’t live a day without them.”

The answer made Dongho fell silent. And he didn’t have any idea why his eyes suddenly felt hot as tears started forming at the corner of his eyes. He didn’t even realize.

“Dongho.” Jonghyun panicked. His hands were hanging awkwardly in the air, hesitant to reach Dongho. Moreover to wipe his tears away.

“Sorry.” Dongho quickly apologized and roughly rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand.

Jonghyun finally had the courage to grab Dongho’s hands and brought it down, placing them on his lap as his thumb caressing his fingers soothingly. None of them dared to speak, and they just let the time goes by slowly.

 

* * *

 

 

Jonghyun finally walked Dongho to his place. They halted their steps when they finally reached his apartment.

Dongho turned his heels to face Jonghyun, smiling.

“Thank you for today, Jonghyun.” He said sincerely.

“I should be the one thanking you.” Jonghyun immediately denied, waving off his camera.

But Dongho shook his head. “Today was so fun. And I’m happy. I don’t know but you always manage to make my day better than the other days.”

Jonghyun couldn’t help but to let out a happy chuckle. He made Dongho happy. It was an achievement for him. He would definitely tell Minki about this.

“So, I’ll see you around?” Dongho waved his hand and excused himself from Jonghyun.

The latter watched the man going further and something suddenly slapped him back to reality. “Dongho, wait!”

Jonghyun wasn’t aware he already ran up to Dongho and grab his arm. Dongho turned back to him in surprise, he raised his eyebrows.

“Yeah?”

Jonghyun mustered up a courage to say the next words. “I like you, Dongho.”

Dongho didn’t quite catch what he said, he thought he heard wrong.

“What?”

“Dongho. I like you.”

Dongho finally got what he was saying but it still felt strange for him. Jonghyun liked him, what? Even though Dongho lowkey expected this to happen but it was still overwhelming that the man said it out loud. It was too sudden that Dongho couldn’t even give a proper reaction over the confession.

“Wait, Jonghyun I-”

The sentence was never finished as Jonghyun closed the gap between them and Dongho instinctively shut his eyes. He felt warm on his forehead.

 

_Oh God._

 

Dongho wanted to scream but he suddenly forgot how to even breathe. It wasn’t even a kiss on the lips. But why his heart beat so fast and his stomach felt sick. He literally cursed Jonghyun in his head.

Jonghyun took a step back with his head hang low. He rubbed his nape in an awkward manner he was so red to the tip of his ears. But Dongho didn’t miss a smile plastered on his face. He tried to hide his own smile by biting his lips, he almost felt bad that he actually liked it.

 

“Kang Dongho.”

Both Dongho and Jonghyun moved their heads to the coming voice but Dongho was the first one to react and it was not a good kind of respond. He widened his eyes seeing Minhyun already stood up near them. Just how long had he been there?

“M- Minhyun?”

The name sparked some memory in Jonghyun. He turned to look at Dongho with a questioning expression. _Minhyun?_

 

* * *

 


	7. Chapter 7

 

Minhyun stepped forward to approach the unmoving Dongho. The man still couldn’t proceed the current situation his mind literally went blank and his tongue gave up on him. He blinked his eyes repeatedly when Minhyun reached in front of him, flashing a slight smile that Dongho didn’t like a bit.

“Who is this?”

Minhyun averted his attention to the other man, still holding that same smile while asking the question. Jonghyun didn’t seem to have the courage to answer at the moment so Dongho had to do it for him.

“This is Jonghyun.” Dongho introduced him to Minhyun, his voice wavered.

“Oh, I haven’t heard about you. Dongho’s friend?”

Dongho was sure Minhyun’s sudden excited voice was intentional. That was straight up sarcasm. And he knew what the taller was going to do when he extended his arm offering a handshake.

“I’m Minhyun. Dongho’s boyfriend.” Minhyun smiled widely it reached his ears.

Dongho felt like disappearing from his spot into thin air, he shut his eyes couldn’t bear Jonghyun’s reaction. What Minhyun did was so unnecessary.

Shocked from getting too much information, Jonghyun didn’t know what to do and his arm just voluntarily moving to accept the handshake. Maybe it was just him but he felt the taller man slightly gripping his hand harder before pulling back.

“So, are you going to visit our place?” Minhyun kept being annoying to the conversation and Dongho felt so bad towards Jonghyun. He didn’t deserve this.

Jonghyun immediately shook his head. He just wanted to step out of there quickly and go home. His mind was a mess and his chest felt suffocated he couldn’t breathe.

“I- I’m just going to go back.” He stuttered as he turned his heels to fly away from the scene. He didn’t even bat an eye to Dongho.

“Jonghyun!” Dongho held him back from leaving and Jonghyun looked up to face him. It hurt so much and Jonghyun never thought he would get this amount of pain in the same day of what? His confession?

Dongho looked at him in the eyes and spoke with quiet voice. “I’ll text you later.”

For the first time Jonghyun didn’t want any kind of contact from Dongho. He just wanted to be left alone, crying over his miserable life. But he was fallen too deep he could not escape. He loved Dongho.

Jonghyun didn’t reply anything when Dongho whispered ‘I’m sorry’ to him. And Dongho just let him go from his grip, watching his back going further and finally disappeared.

The sound of footsteps behind him reminding him that there was the other man presented there. Dongho turned around to see Minhyun already on the staircase heading to Dongho’s place. The latter heaved a sigh before following the man behind.

Minhyun didn’t waste his time when both of them already entered the apartment. He needed explanation.

“Who’s that guy?” He asked. His tone changed from earlier when he talked to Jonghyun. Dongho knew he was in a big trouble, but he could care less. It wasn’t worth trying to explain to Minhyun especially when he was in this state. He wouldn’t listen to everything Dongho said. Been there.

“A friend.” Dongho replied casually and it triggered Minhyun.

“Do friends kiss like that?” Minhyun mocked him. Dongho just realized that Minhyun probably stood there for so long to witness everything. _Did he see when Jonghyun confessed?_

Somehow Dongho wished him to watch everything so he wouldn’t need to explain anymore. He was too tired of having to argue. Moreover with Minhyun.

He loved his boyfriend. Or that was what he thought. But sometimes it was tiring for him. Suddenly Jonghyun’s words echoing in his mind.

“Minhyun, can I ask you something?”

The taller squinted his eyes. The way his boyfriend easily changing the topic upset him to some extent. Minhyun always had big ego and it was showing.

“What is it?” He finally asked without a hint of actually wanting to know anything about it.

Dongho took a deep breath, preparing himself because he knew what he was going to say would anger Minhyun. But he needed to know something. And if Dongho wanted to be honest, he was actually so scared about the upcoming. He was scared of Minhyun’s answer. He even was scared of any response from him. Could his heart take it?

“Minhyun-ah, do you love me…” Minhyun was about to reply instantly when Dongho continued his sentence, “…or are you just too used to live with me, that you think you can’t live with someone else but me?”

The first reaction from Minhyun was a deep frown and a ‘What?’

Dongho was trembling but he went on with his words. “You… you are used to having me, right? You just didn’t realize that.”

Minhyun cursed under his breath. “Kang Dongho what the fuck are you talking about!?”

He stepped forward to grab his lover by his arms, fingers locked him tightly in place. Anger flickered through his eyes.

“Why are you asking these stupid things? Is it because of that guy? Are you dating him? Fuck, Dongho you are still mine and will always remain like that!”

Minhyun spitted out his anger, his voice quivered it scared Dongho. He turned Minhyun into a mess and it actually scared him. Never once he saw Minhyun was emotionally unstable like this. Not even their past fights. That guy always managed to stay composed whatever situation he was in. But not this time.

“I love you, Dongho. But I can’t perfectly show it to you it frustrates me. I’m always insecure whenever the thought of you leaving me comes. Because I know you deserve better than me, a lot better. But I still want you, Dongho.” His eyes were filled with red and tears, ready to spill. “If you asked me that I can’t live without you then the answer is yes. You think I’m just so used to live with you? I will also answer yes. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you. I love you so much, Dongho-ya. I need you most.”

At this state Dongho couldn’t hold himself. He was breaking down in front of Minhyun, his boyfriend had to pull him into his arms. Dongho cried, he cried so hard he could barely breathe.

“I’m sorry if it’s too hard for being with me. I’m sorry you had to doubt everything because of me. I’m really sorry.” Minhyun whispered. “I know I’m so shameless for wanting you, with my lacking self. But I want to stand by this relationship. I want to stand by us.”

He pulled Dongho tighter in his embrace, one of his hand reaching to caress his hair. He planted a long deep kiss on top of his boyfriend’s head, trying to make the other man feeling reassured.

For Dongho, this was maybe the first time he was feeling content since dating Minhyun. All of their obstacles and finally Minhyun said it clearly that he wanted to keep going with the relationship. He didn’t want to give up. So what made Dongho think he should give up the relationship? He had no reason to do so.

He was not sure if it was love, but he realized that he was just the same. He was used to living with Minhyun that his presence was something he needed. He couldn’t imagine living with anyone else. It had to be Minhyun.

 

* * *

 

 

Minki was just chilling in front of the television that played some cheap romantic movie when Jonghyun entered the room, head hung low hiding his face which showed unreadable expression.

“Hey, how was the date?” Minki waved his hand, curious to how his friend’s date going.

Jonghyun halted his step in front of his room door before slowly turning around to Minki and walked to him. His friend already sensed something weird when Jonghyun took off his camera from his neck and put it down carelessly before dropping himself onto Minki which the latter quickly reacted by holding him.

“Wha- Jonghyun, are you okay?” His voice was filled with worry.

Jonghyun rested his head on Minki’s shoulder, he was breathing heavily like something stuck inside his chest.

“Minki-ya.” He mumbled onto his friend’s fabric of shirt. His voice was terribly hoarse. _Does he hold back tears? What the hell happened?_

“Why does it hurt so much? Is it usually like this?”

_Shit._

“Oh, Jonghyun.” Minki rubbed his friend’s back. He assumed that Dongho rejected him or something. But of course it could happen. It just sucked because this was probably Jonghyun’s first time to be in love. Dongho was Jonghyun’s first love.

“Why did he do this to me?” Jonghyun asked.

Minki bit his lower lip, not knowing what to do so he carefully asked him.

“What happened?”

Jonghyun didn’t answer immediately but he hugged Minki even tighter instead. This guy definitely tried to suppress his crying and it broke Minki.

“Dongh- ” Jonghyun paused at the name. “He- he has someone. He has someone and he didn’t tell me, Minki-ya.”

_Well, shit_. Minki cursed inwardly. Why should his friend experience the worst thing for his first love ever?

“Jonghyun, it’s okay. It’s okay, you can cry.” Minki kept rubbing soothingly to his back, thinking it was best to let him cry first before talking about anything.

And then he did. Jonghyun cried on Minki’s shoulder. He cried in silent voice and through choked sobs. And it was the most heartbreaking thing Minki could ever see.

 

* * *

 

 

Minhyun was cuddling Dongho on the couch, he would be staying for the night. Both of them were lost in thoughts as none of them voiced out words. The only sound source was from the television that they let it turned on, emitting faint sound in the background.

Dongho exhaled and it made Minhyun looked down to him, fingers still softly stroking his hair.

“Minhyun-ah.” He called his boyfriend with a tiny voice. Minhyun replied it with a hum. Dongho didn’t continue his sentence as he was afraid to ruin the mood. But Minhyun urged him to talk.

Dongho fiddled with his shirt. “I think- I owe an explanation to Jonghyun.”

Mentioning the name still left him some weird taste in his mouth, that name still made his stomach churned. And he didn’t have any idea why.

Minhyun heaved a sigh upon hearing the name. To be real, he chose not to hear that name again if he could.

“How did you meet, though?” He asked out of curiosity.

Shrugging his shoulders, Dongho answered shortly. “We met at a café.”

“And then? How did both of you-”

“Minhyun.” Dongho cut him off before the taller would start ranting. “We are just friends.”

“He _kissed_ you, Dongho.” Minhyun exclaimed.

“That’s…”

“He likes you.” Now he sounded like a whiny child who didn’t get his favorite toy.

It silenced Dongho. He knew it was true and he couldn’t argue. The thought came just how much he had hurt Jonghyun. Dongho felt like a total asshole he cursed himself. If only he told Jonghyun in the first place, maybe this wouldn’t happen. But again, he had no intention whatsoever to mention Minhyun whenever he was with Jonghyun. He asked himself why he did that.

“Do you like him?”

The question sent a shiver down to his spine. _Do I like him?_

Minhyun didn’t miss the expression on Dongho’s face and he didn’t like how it made him anxious. He buried his face onto Dongho’s shoulder and let out a muffled grunt.

“Seriously, Dongho you can’t like him.”

Dongho hit him on the back and snorted. “What are you talking about, silly. I don’t like him like that.”

With his face still on Dongho’s shoulder, Minhyun said. “I’m not convinced.”

“He is…” Dongho stared at the ceiling, trying to reason. “He is nice. And fun. I like being friends with him and that’s that.”

Minhyun finally sat back and looked into his boyfriend’s eyes. “Dongho, promise me.”

“Huh?” The shorter slightly raised his brows upon his request.

Minhyun took Dongho’s hands in his. “Don’t ever leave me.”

It was a simple plea but strangely Dongho found it difficult to comply right away. He blinked his eyes few times before finally nodding, leaving Minhyun in relief.

When Minhyun pulled him back in a hug, Dongho once again lost in his thought. Was this what he really wanted?

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hashtag stay strong jonghyun


	8. Chapter 8

The sun rays seeped through the curtain of Jonghyun’s room, caressing the side of his sleeping face. The tired man squinted his eyes avoiding the sting from the beams before fully opened his eyes. He rested on his elbows to get up slowly and winched upon the sudden throb abusing his head. He felt so dizzy and realized that he had slept so late and something kept waking him up from hour to hour.

And then he felt it again. That feeling of hurt and emptiness. It never died down by the time he slept. Instead, it felt even worse.

Jonghyun reached over the table beside his bed to grab his phone. He lowkey expected something but at the same time did not. No new message from Dongho except the last chat that was sent yesterday.

 

[Dongho]

_Can we talk?_

 

Jonghyun missed him but looking at his contact name in his phone hurt him let alone meeting the man in person. He actually didn’t know what to do and he started wondering if he was at fault too. They only knew each other for weeks so why was he so upset for not knowing Dongho actually had a boyfriend?

_Dongho wasn’t at fault. I did this to myself._

The thought made him feel even more pathetic. Was it really his own fault? But again, why should Dongho hang out with him even went on a date just the two of them if he had a boyfriend already? It angered Jonghyun to some point. And he never once got angry at him.

Jonghyun got up from his bed and headed to the bathroom. He still had to finish his project and turn in to the company next week. Good thing he had some distraction at the moment.

 

* * *

 

 

Not getting a reply over his chat made Dongho somehow anxious. Of course he expected Jonghyun to get mad at him over what happened. But totally being ignored like this pained him.

Dongho couldn’t concentrate during his class. He decided to go to the café once the class ended. Even though he wasn’t sure Jonghyun would be there, but at the moment he didn’t know how to meet him. He didn’t even know where he lived. And that finally hit him how he knew nothing about Jonghyun.

 

It was nearly evening when the class ended and Dongho didn’t waste his time to rush to the café. He prayed that the guy would be there, with his laptop doing his work. He just needed to meet him.

Dongho pushed the door and once he was inside, his eyes rapidly searching for someone through every corner. There weren’t many people in the café yet he still couldn’t find him. His shoulders slumped down as he realized the man wasn’t there before he made a way to the exit entrance.

Feeling disappointed, Dongho kept his gaze fixated on the floor when he accidentally bumped onto someone who was about to enter through the door.

“Sorry.”

They spoke at the same time and Dongho quickly shot up his eyes hearing the voice.

“Jonghyun!”

The said man just as surprised seeing Dongho right in front of him. He was planning to go to this café after contemplating so many times to see if maybe Dongho was here. And they just met like that.

“Jonghyun, I need to talk to you.” Dongho gripped onto Jonghyun’s forearm, afraid that the man was going to run away from him. Which Jonghyun never planned to do. Instead, he walked past Dongho to enter the café leaving the man dumbfounded. But Dongho was quick to follow him.

They sat facing each other when Jonghyun made his order. Dongho was about to make his order too but Jonghyun already did it for him. The gesture somehow warmed him but he knew he shouldn’t expect much.

They waited for their order to come in silence. No one dared to speak. Jonghyun was busy with his phone and Dongho secretly peeking at him. The air suddenly suffocated him, trapping him into a stuffy bubble he couldn’t escape.

“Jong-”

“Did you tell your boyfriend you would come here?”

Jonghyun’s sudden question cut him off. He didn’t like the tone of his voice. This wasn’t like Jonghyun he knew. But again, he never really knew him.

“No.” Dongho replied softly.

“Why? Won’t he get mad about you meeting someone else?”

Dongho rubbed his tired face. “Look, Jonghyun. I know you’re upset and you have the right to do it.”

“I’m not.” Jonghyun quickly replied. He sat back to his seat, folding his arms while looking out of the window. “I’m just… disappointed.”

The word hurt Dongho more than it should. To say that Jonghyun was disappointed in him, showing just how bad Dongho messed up.

“I’m sorry.”

Really there was not any other proper word to say. Dongho was really sorry, he meant it. But he knew that wasn’t enough. Jonghyun deserved an explanation.

Their order came to break the tension between them. And they decided to sip on their drinks to ease their mind before moving onto the arguments. Neither of them wanted a stupid fight just because a negative thought filled up their heads.

Jonghyun put away his drink and started to exhale heavily. He still didn’t look at Dongho.

“Tell me.” He said. “Tell me what happened.”

Dongho didn’t realize he had been holding his breath the entire time. The man sighed as he leaned forward, putting his weight on his elbows.

“First thing, I didn’t mean to hurt you. In any way.” Dongho was trying to emphasize. “It was my fault for not telling you everything from the beginning.”

Jonghyun moved his head to nod slowly. He finally looked up to face Dongho. “Not really your fault. We only met for like- days.”

“Yeah, but I should have told you earlier if I knew it would be like this.” Dongho showed a deep regret in his tone.

“Mind to tell me what happened?” The other man picked him back to the track.

Dongho licked his lips. “So- I started coming to this place because I had a slump over a break from my boyfriend.”

Jonghyun felt like he already got a big clue just from that but he kept on listening.

“You know, like going to new places and get some new air.” Dongho shrugged. “And then I met you.”

Jonghyun inhaled a sharp breath. “Okay, and then?”

Dongho continued. “We met and talked and all. I was glad to meet you. I still am.”

Part of Jonghyun’s brain screamed relief but there was still part of him that was just numb. Empty. Dongho was happy to meet him. Then what? He was still not going to end up with him.

“I was starting to think… that maybe I should move on and go with my life.” Dongho hesitated to say the next sentence. “Because I met you.”

Jonghyun didn’t expect his remarks. The sudden realization of why Dongho got along with him, and even went on a date with him. _Did he perhaps have the same feelings for me?_

But it felt unreal. The idea of Dongho liking him back was vague. Of course Jonghyun did want it, but at the same time it was too good to be true. He was afraid to wish.

“I don’t know, Jonghyun-ah. It made me happy to be with you. It’s just so easy, I don’t have to be someone else. I think I’m myself when I’m with you, does it make sense?”

Jonghyun stared into Dongho’s brown eyes. “Dongho, do you- do you like me?”

The question caught him off guard. Dongho liked him, yes. It was so easy to like someone like Jonghyun. But why was he afraid to admit?

Dongho didn’t reply for so long, before he opened his mouth to reply. “I like you… as a friend.”

Jonghyun frowned. Something told him that it was a lie. He didn’t believe his words.

“As a friend? Are you telling the truth?” Jonghyun’s gaze got deeper on Dongho and the latter avoided meeting eyes with him.

“Yeah.” He replied shortly, wanting the topic to change.

“Dongho, look at me.” Jonghyun stretched his arms to grab Dongho’s arms, squeezing him. “Look at me and say it again.”

Dongho clasped his lips. No, he couldn’t say it directly to him. He knew it was a lie.

“I can’t.” Dongho freed himself from Jonghyun, shaking his head in defeat.

“Why? You know it’s not true, right?” Jonghyun kept pestering him. But Dongho didn’t respond. “Answer me, dammit!”

“I can’t be with you, Jonghyun!” Dongho finally snapped. “Minhyun and I got back together. It was our decision and I’m here only to tell you about it.”

Jonghyun froze on his seat. The pain came back, even more painful than ever.

Dongho took a short breath before continuing. “I’m sorry. Even if I liked you, I can’t be with you. I can’t leave Minhyun.”

It triggered Jonghyun for some point. “So are you going to sacrifice your feelings just like that? Really?”

Dongho opened his mouth to say something but he held back.

“I thought you were better than this, Dongho.”

Dongho turned his hands into fists, trying to regain himself. It was not hurting for Jonghyun only, but also for him.

“So what? It’s not like you can guarantee that being with you would be better.” Dongho blurted out.

“What?” Jonghyun couldn’t believe his ears.

“My relationship with Minhyun may be not perfect. But we have been together for years, at least I knew what it felt like to be at the lowest point with him.” Dongho’s voice was shaking so much. “With you… it’s just uncertain.”

Jonghyun felt offended. “We only knew each other for weeks, Dongho. You don’t even know about me yet.”

“You’re right. And it’s better that way.” Dongho nodded. “I don’t wanna try to know you more. I’m with Minhyun right now and I’m gonna be fine.”

At this rate, Dongho didn’t know what he was spitting out anymore. He kept fighting his own self.

Jonghyun snorted. He tapped his fingers on the surface of the table. “Are you done?”

Dongho looked up to him. Seeing the man rose from his seat, ready to leave. Suddenly his heart sank again. But he wouldn’t hold him back.

“Keep telling yourself that you will be okay, keep living in lies. And good luck for your life with your boyfriend.” Jonghyun said lastly before really left him alone in the café.

Dongho watched the man left before he fell down on the table, feeling devastated than ever.

 

* * *

 

 

Seongwoo just arrived at his place when he saw Minhyun was busy packing his stuff. He thought that finally his friend fixed his problem and would move out from here.

In the middle of stuffing his clothes into the carrier, Minhyun caught Seongwoo from the corner of his eyes and turned to greet his friend.

“Hey.”

The man slightly nodded his head and made a step approaching him. He sat on the edge of his bed while Minhyun was going back to his activity packing his stuff.

“So it’s settled, huh?” Seongwoo asked.

Minhyun replied with a short ‘yeah’ between his humming to a song.

His friend was in a good mood, Seongwoo guessed. He plopped down to his bed, smiling.

“Dongho is really a great person.” Seongwoo said abruptly.

Hearing his friend sudden statement, Minhyun stopped himself from whatever he was doing and frowned at Seongwoo. “What do you mean?”

“Nothing.” Seongwoo shrugged nonchalantly. “I just feel like saying about it.”

He knew Seongwoo meant something but Minhyun chose to let it pass. He then moved to take place beside the laying Seongwoo.

“Seongwoo.”

“Hm?” The said man slightly turned his head to look at Minhyun.

His friend heaved a sigh before continuing. “Actually there’s something that I’m still insecure about.”

Seongwoo finally got up from his position with a groan. “Tell me.”

Minhyun hesitated whether he should tell about Jonghyun or not, but this thing kept bugging him so he decided to tell about it.

“So, there is someone that I believe has intention to Dongho.”

Frowns forming on Seongwoo’s face. “What kind of intention?”

“I mean, this guy is his friend. But he likes him. This Jonghyun guy-” Minhyun started ranting.

“Oh, so his name is Jonghyun.” Seongwoo said, more to himself. And Minhyun had to look at him with a questioning face.

“You know him?” Minhyun asked.

Seongwoo quickly shook his head. “No, I don’t.”

But Minhyun kept staring at him, making him finally give up and tell him something.

“I once saw this guy with Dongho.”

“When?” Minhyun urged him to spill more.

Seongwoo tried to remember when he saw them together. It was about two days ago. He thought that Dongho finally let Minhyun go when he saw him going with another guy, but then today Minhyun was going to return to Dongho’s place. So Seongwoo thought that maybe Dongho still chose this dumb guy over here.

“I think it was on Sunday? I saw them at the amusement park, they kinda cute—”

Seongwoo stopped himself from spitting any further unnecessary comment. He checked at his friend whose expression was as gloomy as the sky.

“I mean- maybe they were just having fun, you know?” Seongwoo punched Minhyun’s shoulder softly, trying to cheer him up. “Don’t think too much about it.”

But Minhyun completely ignored Seongwoo’s attempt to reassure him. “What did they do?”

“Yeah… you know, amusement park… rides… nothing really special, I think?”

Minhyun exhaled, getting impatient with this. “Give me details, Seongwoo.”

“What more do you want?” His friend finally replied back. “He chose you in the end.”

But Seongwoo’s words made him more insecure. Dongho indeed chose to stay with him, but the possibility of him leaving still lingering on his mind.

“What was he like- what was he like when he was with Jonghyun?” Minhyun asked in hesitant.

Seongwoo didn’t know what to respond to this. He wanted to tell the truth but at the same time he didn’t want to hurt his friend’s feeling. He knew Minhyun hadn’t treated Dongho better and he sucked at things like that. Seeing Dongho’s blissful face the other day made him realized that it had been a long time since he saw that Dongho. Seongwoo knew Dongho deserved better than his friend, but the guy still chose Minhyun.

“Uhm, no offence, but he looked… happy.”

_He looked happy. Dongho looked happy._

The words kept echoing in Minhyun’s head and then he stood up silently, approaching his unfinished packing and quickly got it done.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry for the slow updates it's gonna end in few chapters, hopefully i can get it done asap but also i don't want to rush. thank you for waiting !! x


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